Out of the Darkness

So, it feels like forever since I last posted. 38 days to be exact. And it’s not because I don’t want to; it’s not because there’s nothing going on that wouldn’t be worth writing about. It’s a matter of life getting in the way, and priorities apparently just not being as they should be to allow more frequent updates.

Since I have a tendency to ramble on (thank my dad for that one), I’m going to split this update into a couple of posts. I’m off work until January 5th now, so I should have no problem finding the time over the next few days.

I’ve thought about the phrase “Journey to a Better Me” and its relationship to my blog. When I started, as is the case when I started running, I was in a place where I didn’t want to be, mentally as well as physically. As is the case with my physical shape, there must come a time and place where one is able to look in the mirror and decide “I’ve had enough” and make the change. Although I didn’t plan to have this sort of ‘attitude change’ when I started writing I was informed that the blogging process would be cathartic, and that has been true more than I realized initially.

To that end, the first update I’m going to provide is on the counseling sessions that had yet to begin as of the time of my last post. At that time, I had called a counselor and had left a message, awaiting a callback. Fast forward 38 days; L and I have each had an initial meeting with the counselor individually, and we have gone to three sessions as a couple. In these sessions we’ve discussed a few topics which I believe will ultimately lead to improvements in our communication on a daily basis. As I expected, the sessions have developed into a depiction of ‘What can I do differently to improve our relationship and communication’ rather than ‘what can we do to improve our communication as a couple.’ I suppose I expected that, as I’ve been the one to acknowledge all along that I had a problem communicating with my wife. I just didn’t exactly expect ownership of the issue to be placed solely on me. I’m learning, however, that some of my knee-jerk reactions and sarcastic comments (of which I am a professional) need to be curbed and I need to stop and think before I react with my mouth.

Overall I think the counseling process has been a good one, and one that will ultimately improve our relationship and our marriage. Granted, since we’ve started the sessions L has been away from the biggest stressor in her life, as she’s been on break from school since early December. As we carry into the New Year we’ll have a new set of sessions, and we’ll be able to see how things go in a more ‘real life’ situation.

~ by fatboyrunning on December 26, 2008.